i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
