What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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