I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
