When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize