I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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