my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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