Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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