cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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