i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize