Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
