Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize