Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
