Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
