so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
