so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
