guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
