remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
