Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
