it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish you could order shots online.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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