maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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