So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
