She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
