what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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