I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
