Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
