We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
