your thong is hanging out like whoa
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
