How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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