I think I died a long time ago.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
two words...techno handjob
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
