ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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