She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
