Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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