Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
