Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
