what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
