Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
