I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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