He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
