whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
