All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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