i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
