I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
