He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
