I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
