she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
