Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
