It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cockslap morals
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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