Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize