She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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