I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
