I faked an abortion last night.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
