hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
