I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize