But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
