Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
