1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
