im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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