normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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