Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize