I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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