My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You pole danced in your parka.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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